From Russia With Love

Written by R.K. Evans

Local family’s adoption story

Amy Williams, a hardworking mom and a grade school teacher for 11 years,  is looking at me with all smiles, and so is her newest little one, who has just awakened from an early evening nap.  “We feel so lucky to have her!” Amy says as she hugs her tight. 

She and her husband recently adopted the beautiful little girl born in Russia.  “Jill,” as the Williams’ call her, is a doe-eyed little cherub, with mousy brown hair and the smile of an angel. She was born on Sept. 15, 2004 in Astrakhan, just as the Russian government began planning its “Year of the Family”, an occasion that is being recognized and celebrated throughout the country.  By September 2008, that jubilant theme had traveled many miles, and reached the little O’Fallon family who was bursting with excitement to celebrate the 4th birthday of their new daughter.  The Williams’, who already had two active boys, traveled all the way from Astrakhan with their little bundle of joy, and endured the exhausting international adoption to embrace her with warmth and love into the safety of their happy family.  

They knew very little about the international adoption process before working with Children’s Hope International (CHI), aSt. Louis based, non-profit adoption and humanitarian agency.  Through CHI and other families already tackling the adoption process, they were able to gain the information they needed — everything from what would be required of them, to what to expect.  CHI reportedly places around 800 children each year, and has worked with the Russian government, orphanages and adoption officials since September 2000.  Russia is currently celebrating “The Year of the Family”, partially due to concerns that more Russian children are being adopted into foreign parentage than by Russian families.  

Russian officials sent 2,310 children to the United States in 2007, making it the third largest sending country for adoption. Despite economic reforms that have taken place since the 1991 breakup of the Soviet Union, it is reported that many families in the former Soviet nations still struggle to survive. It is estimated that over 600,000 children live “without parental care” in Russia. About one-third live in institutions, and the rest typically live with guardians, or under police jurisdiction. Poverty is a factor in most child relinquishments. All types of children are typically available for adoption: babies surrendered in the hospital at birth to orphanages, special needs children, and older children who were removed from their families because of neglect. As in the United States, sibling groups are kept together if possible, but often live in separate locations according to age and need.  In Astrakhan, orphanages keep the babies together until around age three, then the tiny toddlers are sent to larger orphanages, sadly, to live alongside many other children from age 4 to as old as age 18.

Adoption agencies are numerous in our immediate metro area, and online resources can provide a wealth of information as well.  “We really wanted to work with a local agency,” the couple agreed strongly.  “We wanted to be able to drive to the agency quickly to take care of all the business affairs, and to make our travel arrangements when needed.”  Indeed, usually two trips are required by the prospective parents during the adoption, one trip to accept the child referral, and one to complete the actual adoption. Most regions in Russia require that both parents see the child before the referral is accepted, but one parent can make the first trip.  “There is a huge amount of paperwork to do,” says the proud mom.  From the process of completing the dossier to the actual referral can be more than 6 to 12 months on average for each family.  The Williams’ were able to bring their toddler home after 10 months of prayer and hard work.  “When we went to Astrakhan to take her home she was so excited,” says Amy, “she walked around telling the other kids, ‘I have a mama’.”

The family describes the city and administrative center of Astrakhan as a bustling college town.  The city is found in southwestern Russia, and is situated on the Volga River, 60 miles from the Caspian Sea. It lies on the left bank of the main, westernmost channel of the Volga, and is situated on caravan and water routes that are older than any American city.  Over many years, Astrakhan has developed from a small village into a large trading center with a total population of around 500,000 residents and businesses. The wonder and mystique of this eastern European city unfolds some interesting history, including the fact the city was captured by Ivan IV (or “Ivan the Terrible”) in 1556.  

When Amy asked her husband if he would ever consider adoption, she was thrilled and surprised when he said yes.  She and her husband decided to embark on this amazing adventure to this ancient city and add Jill to their blossoming family.  They began working with the local agency to adopt a child from this remote part of the world, and learned to lean on the wisdom of other adopting families.

Despite all the changes she has gone through in the last seven months while adjusting to her new life and home, Jill is an extremely happy little girl who is healthy, curious, and active.

In their comfortable home, Jill hops along, plays with her dolls, and blows kisses. She jumps on Mom, giggles with Daddy, and cuddles them both.

“My mom and dad live very close by, and are a great support,” smiles Amy.  “My mom even quit her job to stay with Jill — she is great!”

Jill’s new brothers, ages 7 and 8, claim that adopting the toddler was their idea.  The two boys play outside, love their video games and are into soccer — and Dad coaches the team.  “We were a little worried about the transition,” admits Amy.  But our youngest was nothing but excited ‘to be both a big brother AND a little brother.’  The kids are doing great, and really love one another.  It is truly exciting to see.”

While the process did go fairly quickly, at times it was a real nail-biter for the family.  “Adopting a child under the age of 18 months takes longer than for a child of age 3 or 4.  We immediately fell in love with Jill, but then we had to wait it out,” says Williams adding, “that was the hardest part.”  The couple recalls scrambling to cross every T, dot every I and get every detail secured before their final trip to Astrakhan to bring their beautiful new little girl home.  “Everything had to be in perfect order,” says Williams.  If even one signature or document was missing, there was always a chance that we’d be sent home without her.  It took six months alone just to complete the dossier!”  

The Williams’ tell of their visit to the United States Embassy, extensive background checks, and their in-depth Q & A session with Russian officials.  “During the first trip to the region, they showed us photos and scheduled a time to complete all the health information.”  The Russian adoption process went much faster than the two year waiting list that currently exists with Chinese adoption, but a child cannot be adopted internationally until they are rejected by a Russian family.

The agency the Williams’ family chose to work with, CHI, currently operates in many areas of Russia, and provides adoptive parents all the tools and guidelines they need to get started.  Most available agencies even provide a detailed checklist that can help prospective parents, and there are many online resources.  “The agency we chose provided a translator, and even a driver,” says Williams.  Most do, and the process is quite expensive.  On their first trip to Russia, Amy and her dad traveled and stayed in Astrakhan for a week while her husband stayed with the boys.  On the second trip, the couple went together, and stayed for four weeks while the boys stayed with her parents.  “You pay a little at a time,” the proud papa smiles. “With the biggest chunk to be paid at the end.”

The Williams’ both agree that it was helpful to have each other assigned to specific tasks – one completing the paperwork, and the other watching the books.  “I had to keep a very close eye on our budget,”  Dad says as he bounces Jill on his knee.  Indeed, it is estimated the cost of a typical Russian adoption averages around $35,000.  “We figured, we don’t need a new car or anything like that,” says Amy.  “We wanted Jill to be with us and our boys.”

Now that Jill has joined her parents, two big brothers and doting grandparents, it seems that 2008 will be remembered as ‘the year of the family’ in the Williams’ household.  And as I blew a kiss back to the wriggling, giggling happy little toddler, I couldn’t help but think – it really IS a small world, after all.